NuancesOfTheNoontideNicetiesThere is a little girl in a short short skirt, her mint green panties peaking out in an obscene triangle. While I try to comprehend this, she reaches back and tugs on the elastic, pulling it like a wad of mint gum.Good Lord, what is happening!?"The beat poets took drugs to expand the limits of-" argggh, I slap the book shut. What a horrible nightmare I had last night! I woke up sideways in bed. The drunken father of an ex-lover shooting losers to bits because I wanted my boots back. Silly pretentious toking ex and poetically epileptic cronies; little deformed beats in training. I can't read Kerouac now because of the nightmare. Usually when I get angry at books, its time to up the medication; I can just see my psychiatrist's notes from two years ago: "violent vendetta against J.D. Salinger". Became physically ill at the discovery that the library back home had no Arthur Rimbaud and everyone seemed fine with that. Thought I was going to drop faint right in the world literature section
Human Extermination Service(Theme from "Police Academy" plays in beginning. We film students were sweet on the the "Police Academy" theme.)FADE IN!(MR. DEAN is sitting at his desk. He seems quite nervous about something. He rubs his face and picks up his phone, dialing 0.)MR. DEAN: Yeah, operator? Can you give me the number of a reliable professional assassin? (pause) Yeah, I'll hold. (He waits a bit and then scribbles on a nearby paper with a hi-lighter) Alright thanks. (Dials the phone once more) Yeah, Human Extermination Service? I'm interested in employing the…well, services of one of you assas…(knock, knock, knock, knock, knock!)MR. DEAN: Uh, come in.(WILHELM enters, smartly dressed in his own suit and a borrowed fedora. He carries a notebook and smiles, smarmy as a used-car salesman.)WILHELM: Hello! I'm Wilhelm. I'm a representive and employee of Human Extermination and Elimination Services. Mind if I sit down?MR. DEAN: Sure, go ahead.WILHELM: Thank you. (He removes his hat and places it on the de
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